Five Generations of Lace - The tender role of hankies in my families lives
Years
back when serving in our LDS stake (geographical area consisting of
many church members in each congregation) we as stake leaders and
spouses enjoyed an incredible spiritual, fun retreat. I wrote this
account about the role of a simple handkerchief in my life, and in the
generations of my grandmothers through my great-great-great
grandmothers. I tied a beautiful lace hankie to my account and
presented them to the sisters (women holding various positions of
leadership in the stake) in whom I knew could also relate to the
memories I shared. This account is part of my next up upcoming book,
"Passionately INHALE life and EXHALE gratefulness." which I am currently
working on. Today, I am sending all of you sweet female FB friends a
"virtual hankie" in recognition of your own challenges, achievements,
struggles, and triumphs!
FIVE GENERATIONS OF LACE
– by Rebecca Mills Christeson 1991 serving as stake Relief Society
president for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints,
Pittsburgh East stake for a spiritual/fun couples retreat for all stake
leaders and spouses J I gave this written account along with a lace
hankie to each of the sisters. Our stake president was the incredible
Roy Wennerholm who was proactive, visionary, supportive of all of my
ideas designed to bless the sisters lives throughout our stake, from
training to women’s conferences! Our stake later became Pittsburgh
North Stake wherein I continued serving as the stake RS president.
Handmade
hankies; crisp and white, crocheted, tatted or trimmed with lace were
always carried by the women in my family; their purpose, often times
being, to discretely dab at tender tears, cover a “cha-cho” or used for
silent hand wringing during times of bereavement, stress or worry.
Handmade
hankies so lovingly and painstakingly created have never ceased to
bestow their magic when used to entertain little ones. Hankies lulled
them into attentive silence as curious eyes watch intently as corners
are rolled toward the center and folded inside out making “two babes in a
cradle” to be rocked between pudgy little fingers.
Our
handmade hankies have been carried reverently on ones wedding day, to
sacrament meetings and temple sessions. They have joined us during
times of great joy such as births, adoptions, blessings, ordinations,
settings a part and during many personal family prayers.
They
have also been clutched, ever so tightly, in our hands during times of
turmoil, grief and uncertainty. And upon ones death – a pure, white
lace edged hankie is laid to rest between the fingers of two loving work
worn hands.
Our handmade hankies have seen us through the myriad of emotions and circumstances found in mortal life …
Hankies
have traveled across the cold, barren plains in handcarts and covered
wagons. My great-great grandmothers, who were Mormon pioneers, used
them to mop perspiration from fevered brows, to shoo away persistent
flies and they waved them high above their heads as valiant, heartfelt
goodbyes were bade to family and friends left behind.
My
grandmother, Maggie Elizabeth Orr Beck, with her circles of rouge on her
cheeks, net covered hat securely placed a top her head and fresh white
gloves precisely smoothed over her fingers never left for literary club
or a visit to one of her eleven living children without her fresh, white
hankie.
A small, pink satin sectional bag was her special
keeping place for these handmade treasures. White lace and the scent
of sachet beckoned the curious eyes of many a granddaughter! What a
privilege it was to examine each beautiful work of art – those dainty
swatches of fabric folded so neatly waiting to be taken out and examined
by one who would admire the handiwork.
My mother dear
used her hankies as a child’s make believe bonnet, for games of
peek-a-boo and to cover small baby dolls keeping them warm and cozy.
Mothers hankies were often used for childhood games of “This little
Doggie won’t bite you” (similar to duck-duck-goose) a delight of all
young birthday party guests. They were also tied in a knot around a few
loose coins so that little hands wouldn’t lose them on the way to the
store or to some form of amusement.
Lace trimmed hankies
also served as a privacy lining in an elegant, clear clutch bag adored
with rhinestones. This combination was used for special occasions and
“dress up” evenings out, by my mother, when being escorted by my
handsome and clever father.
My own hankies have traveled
far and wide with me to exciting places I dreamed of as a child; from
Broadway theaters in New York City to the beaches of Hawaii and the
Bahamas. They have accompanied me to the red rock deserts and rugged
mountain trails of my beloved Utah. They have been quietly tucked
inside my pocket during magical fantasy excursions to places such as
Disneyland or Disney World as well as to national and church historical
sites: Gettysburg, Kirkland, Palmyra, and Washington D.C.
Like
my family before me, hankies have been used to bandage an imaginary
hurt arm of our precious daughters’ dolls, they have wiped away tears
caused by a sensitive son’s broken heart and they have even waved with
great enthusiasm when greeting my sweet husband at the airport, upon his
return from a business trip.
It has often been commented
upon that I am frequently seen with a fresh, white hankie in hand. My
answer to this comment is, “What greater privilege could a scrap of
cloth with a smidgen of lace have, than to have traveled to the various
wards and branches throughout Pittsburgh East Stake!”
My
hankies wave hello, they dab at “others” tears who have need of their
ready availability and they have been clutched ever so tightly to my
heart as I bear testimony to the truthfulness of the gospel; and express
my love and concern for all who are so very dear to me here in
Pennsylvania. These opportunities have seemed to give my hankies even
great occasion for purpose and use.
Therefore, please
accept this humble, lace edged hankie as a token of my love and
appreciation for you as a friend and sister in the gospel. Understand,
more fully, its heritage, its sense of purpose and tradition and like
those, similar to it, which have been carried by the many generations of
strong, confident, capable and loving women in my family – may it be
“your” gentle companion through both the bitter and the sweet times
still ahead!
My best!
Rebecca L. Christeson
Pittsburgh East Stake Relief Society president, 1991-1996)
Copyright © Rebeecca Christeson 2014
