THIS LETTER ARRIVES WITH A WARNING FROM THE SURGEON GENERAL … “Beware, may cause drowsiness!” On the other hand you may get a chuckle or two as you read about another bizarre year in the Christeson home!? Be sure to “Take with food or milk” and keep in mind that “Failing to finish this read may be hazardous to your health!” Rx Yeeee-haaaaaa!
DECK THE HALLS … In a world filled with tiny, white, sparkling outdoor Christmas lights we continue to hang our gargantuan, multi-colored Easy Bake Oven bulbs! … They’re big, bold, colorful and GHASTLY! … But hey, some traditions never cease even IF they were the first string of lights we began hanging on our new home in Orem, Utah some 27 years ago! … Perhaps it’s time to retire these retro old fogy’s to the archives?! …Sell them on e-bay?! … Donate them to the Smithsonian … Or better yet, haul them off to the Kennedy Space Center as a pulsating set of Bee Gee’s disco style runway lights! Ya think?! … Any takers out there?
GEEZERS … If his daughter wasn’t always telling him his mode of dress is, “soooo yesterday!” and his music is “soooo Jurassic!” and his suggestions are “soooo vintage!” and his jokes are “soooo third grade” then he wouldn’t realize that he’s actually IN the zone dude! … Peace man! … Power to the people! … Grooooovy! … Those psychedelic 60’s rock bro! … Or at least his flower power wifey-chick thinks so! … The reason parents are put on this earth is to irritate and embarrass their kids! … Right?! … Yo Ashley – one day we’ll say grandchildren are our reward for having not strangled our teenagers! … And yup, we love you a bushel and a peck babe! … You’re “soooo middle earth!”
RUNNERS HAVE SOLE … Having lettered in XC Cam now sports a cool red and white University of Utah Letterman’s jacket … Was red shirted for spring track running unattached achieving his goal in the 800 at the BYU invitational … Enjoyed a 5-K here and there and was committed to grueling, daily training no matter what the weather snow or shine eleven months a year … Some 6 am runs, classes from 7-12 then weight training, swimming and more running again till 5 pm before any evening classes not to mention travel and meets … Certainly not the overall college students schedule … All he needed was to walk around with a hip looking swagger in a pair of cool shades greeting everyone he passed with a, “Hey - wassup” and then go postal joining a Greek fraternity and he would have become the stereotypical college jock! … Nope, I don’t think so … We know the hard work and passion of a runner! …Ten thunderous cheers for diligence and dedication! … After his two year hiatus in China, watch out 2006 as he may return to the sport with a vengeance … Or on second thought perhaps he will continue to enjoy a little competitive volleyball and run just for fun!?
MAKE DESTINY NERVOUS … As Ashley would say … But we might use other descriptive terms such as outstanding, hilarious, captivating and simply entertaining to describe last springs musical “Guys and Dolls”! … But then the female lead was none other than ASHLEY BRETLYN CHRISTESON! …70 students auditioned, 30 received parts and all had the time of their lives! … Bret and Brett (male lead) stole the show and Mr. Steele and Mrs. Miller received accolades for their creative insight, direction, set designs, costumes, choreography, lights, music and action!! … What a delight it was to see the cast hold the audience spell bound and rolling in their seats with laughter … And how remarkable that a musical director of such talent, vision and patience cares enough to help each student enjoy a positive experience from the first cold reading to the final production! …Of course we all sat on the edges of our seats as we anticipated the illustrious stage kiss between the characters of Sarah and Sky (he kisses her/she slaps him)! …And Ashley loved being showered with bouquets of flowers including a dozen glorious powder pink roses from her daddy! …I surprised our shooting star with helium balloons, our front door covered with stars, a special book to add to her personal library and of course a box of “Hostess Ding Dong’s” (in commemoration of one of her solo’s that goes ”If I were a bell I’d go ding-dong-ding-dong-ding” ) … My wacky sense of humor kicking in haha … All in all it was a delightful performance from our beautiful budding actress and profoundly talented vocalist … Ok, play times over Ash - head out of the clouds … Go get your chores done … NOW!
STAND TALL AND FLUFF YOUR PINK FEATHERS … I turned 50 this year! … In celebration I flew to Utah and escorted our son to the MTC! It doesn’t get any better than that! … Pure icing on the cake of life! … Reflecting on my many blessings I earnestly continue to enjoy a remarkable, loving relationship with my precious husband and children … Possess an unwavering testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ … Enjoy true, devoted friendships … Challenging and creative opportunities for personal growth both in and out of our home … And whimsical events and happenings on any given day … I give sincere thanks to my Heavenly Father! … Hey, every day is a tiara day in my book! …
RUBBER DUCKY … It all began with a little yellow rubber duck with an attitude! … QUACK! …Sporting a blue beak and sunglasses no less! … Cam and a friend passed the little plastic fellow and a disposable camera back and forth from coast to coast snapping pictures of Harley where ever he traveled! … The duck visited Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Nebraska, Colorado, Missouri, South Carolina and has the grin to prove it! … Hanging out on mountain peaks of sheer granite, enjoying pancakes at stop and go diners, and perching on road signs from the mid west to desert country … Little H has really made the rounds! … One glitch – he rode to California in the back seat of a Chevy never to be seen again … But wa-laa, mom and Rubberducky.com to the rescue! … Harley’s rough and tumble cousin Zeto, from the Bronx, took his place flying off to Texas and traversing Jersey! … Now he has a whole house full of family! … Punk rock duck for Ashley, 60’s hippy duck for dad, queen duck for mom and brothers running duck and computer duck for Cam (all painted to the nines in their respective theme attire of course) …When will it all stop?! … QUACK! … Duck mania … I never knew a duck I didn’t like! …QUACK QUACK … Rubber ducky you’re so fine … Enough all ready!
PRETTY IN PINK … Selecting room colors from paint chips with dad was torture! … Do you KNOW how many shades of pink there are in the world?! … End result dazzling! … A daddy-daughter date having fun painting and redecorating Ashley’s teen-scheme room … Ash learned new skills and achieved another qualified goal toward earning her future Young Womanhood Recognition Award! … In the mean time she gets to veg and study in the room of her dreams!
LA VITA E’ BELLA (Life is good) … France, Norway, South Africa, Mexico, China, Russia, Kazakhstan, Brazil, Venezuela, Canada, Iceland, Ukraine, Netherlands, United Kingdom, Argentina, Peru, Bolivia, and Indonesia read like settings of an exciting novel of mystery and intrigue… However, as Jon negotiates with and purchases commodities from each exotic location he realizes even more profoundly the importance of strong foreign relations on all levels of business … That the global marketplace is an ever active web of commerce and communication … That as Americans we have a responsibility and the privilege of coming to understand and show respect for other diverse cultures while setting an example of solid business practices and personal ethics … So just HOW difficult is it HONEY to lounge on the beach near Boca after an exhausting day of conducting meetings with the masses?! … So WHEN is it that you go to lunch again with those two French guys, SWEETHEART?! ... WHO sends you that lovely basket of Italian delights DEAR?! … Just another grueling year at work in the concrete jungle! … Isn’t that RIGHT, SUGAR POPS?! … Just kidding – promise! … Golly, I sure think that 401(k) is worth the TEDIUM and SACRIFICE, don’t you BUBBLE CAKES?!
SILVER SPURS … Cam’s anticipated John Wayne, OK Corral, cattle drive, bunk house type of outings while visiting with college friends in Wyoming and Montana were not to be … Sage brush, leather chaps, gun slinging, chuck wagon moments were all part of the old west ambiance of days gone by …Now McDonalds, K-marts and strip malls dot the landscape where once lonesome cowpokes could be found playing their gee-tars under the stars while listening to a lone coyote baying in the distance … Hey, WAKE UP- DREAMS OVER! …So Cam’s a preppy East coast kid with an over active imagination! … The illusionary romantic myth of the West continues … Hey, pass me the branding iron and that bottle of Barbeque sauce will ya Festus?
STAGE FRIGHT … Pieces from Die Zauberflote, Cosi Fantutte, and Jekyll & Hyde were performed as part of Ashley’s voice recital … But a duet dressed in a Japanese kimono for Madame Butterfly sung in Italian, and milk maiden attire for her Sound of Music solo were our favorites!! … And of course a swingy little number from Anything Goes with friend Marc was Delovely! …So how did Bridget, her brilliantly talented voice teacher, pull off such an incredibly, choreographed recital? … Pure chutzpa! … This extravaganza had Bridget Steele’s artistic vision written all over it! … How blessed Ashley is to have a teacher and mentor who continually challenges her, holds her to task, as well as delights over her achievements! … Ahhhhhhhhh
CHOCOLATE MADE OUR SHIRTS SHRINK … Humph! … In spite of grueling eighty mile runs every morning before 3:00 a.m. … Drinking ONLY power drinks and eating 1.5 carbs per day … Doing yoga to relax and using crystals, magnets and fish hooks to tap into our undiscovered energy reserves we still can’t seem to fit into those size 23-36 Levi jeans and capped sleeved muscle man t-shirts … What’s wrong with us?! … Middle age spread? … Of course not! It’s that new detergent that smells a lot like Hershey’s chocolate that’s the culprit!! ... Hey, passing the buck is the American way of late – right?! … No can do ... It’s our fault! … Having a hidden 7-11 in our bedroom and lack of resolve is the culprit! … Maybe … Or maybe not?! … Jon has already dropped 35 pounds and I take a FIRM stand SHOUTING at those Hershey bars to STAY AWAY from me! … Ummmm-ummmm, don’t mess with THIS hot mama!
GIVE BLOOD PLAY GOLF … Then wrap your club around a tree a few times, pitch a fit in the sand trap and ram your golf cart into the front window of the pro shop and THEN everyone will surely know you played a great round of golf that day! … It’s a beast! … But pure relaxation Jon says … Yeah right!
BUTTERFLY KISSES AND VELCRO HUGS … Seeing Cam off at the airport in route to the Missionary Training Center in Provo (one of several throughout the world) and then on to Hong Kong to serve the Lord for two years as a full time missionary was thrilling but also one of the most difficult moments we’ve experienced as a family! … Our group hugs and family prayers began years and years before this expected event occurred! … Emotional, nevertheless … Jon and Ash clung to “the guy” smothering him with kisses, last minute advice and best wishes … Unexpectedly flying first class, however, Cam and I still had part of the journey to experience together so my final farewell would come two days later … I suppose only Latter-day Saint parents can fully understand this when I say that we literally have no qualms with regard to Cam living and serving on the other side of the world … It’s a remarkable privilege to be deemed worthy in all respects to serve a Mormon mission … It requires faith, sacrifice, courage, diligence, preparation, integrity and a desire to stand up to the plate and share Christ’s message with those who, likewise, have the insight and yearning to learn the truth … The LDS missionary program is run like a tight ship being exceedingly well organized … Missionaries rock! … And Elder Sung (Christeson) is making a profound impact on the Chinese people through the power of God … Yes, we miss him terribly but we also know that this is exactly where he is to be and chooses to be at this time in his life! … To understand more about how and why close to 60,000 missionaries choose to serve LDS missions throughout the world please go to www.lds.org
TICKLE, TEASE & TORMENT … “I’ve never had to wonder what it’s like to have an obnoxious little brother- I have a DAD!” … Per Ashley … Case closed … Well, not quite! … Too bad he can no longer tease his brother Kurt to death and Cam’s off the hook for now, so Ashley Babe … TAG … You’re it! … GO DAD – GO DAD!!!
THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND … It’s a weed whacker story …We should erect a 10 foot sign with flashing lights that reads; THIS LAWN HAS BEEN PAINSTAKINGLY MOWED FOR YOUR SCENIC ENJOYMENT (and by reason of “our” insanity) by Jon Alan Christeson landscape design extraordinaire! ... Between the gophers that pop up out of no where and the cottontail bunnies that feast on his patches of newly replanted lawn I think he is about to start hanging out in the dark dressed in full battle fatigue with a spot light in hand and a shot gun filled with buck shot ready to attack! … It’s ok dear, calm down … Take my advice and stick my tacky, plastic, pink flamingo lawn ornaments back in the middle of the yard and that should scare those critters away! … Little does he know I coerced the enemy to make mincemeat of the lawn! … This way he just might give up out of sheer desperation forgetting about his pruning and planting, edging and mowing and whisk me off on a romantic get away! … Fat chance!! … But NEVER under estimate the creativity of a woman! … I am woman hear me roar! … Hey Jon, did you know there’s a cool SALE on fertilizer in TAHITI – I’ve got two tickets, we leave TOMORROW! … “Let us be grateful to those who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Marcel Proust
ANNOY THE MASSES … Woo-hoo! … Ash hit the halls of Plum High School cruising!! … She enjoys French, honors English, geometry, IPS, history and chorus but let’s forgo any thought of competitive swimming shall we?! … Drivers’ theory and career exploration are ok but BOYS are obviously far more interesting! … She loves her Young Women’s lessons and activities and serves as first counselor in her class … She’s devoted to early morning seminary (scripture study at the church) but hauling myself out of bed each morning at 4:30 am in order to prepare and then get her up and there on time is precarious at best, but starting her day out on such a spiritual high makes it worth the effort! … Now being old enough to attend stake dances is cool and having learned to swing dance as well as hanging out with all of her LDS girl friends is great fun … Cuisine club, being a math tutor and serving as secretary of the French Club keeps her hopping as does instant messaging on the computer and endless girl chit chat on the phone with her circle of cohorts … She auditioned for the school play and received a part as a comical Hillbilly hick havin’ a hooten hollerin good ol’ time Y’all! (A darling guy friend wrote on her program, “Perfect light was formed in your beauty, yet fails to do you justice” Sweet!) In addition, being selected for the female solo and a duet in our stake Christmas cantata was a superb way to usher in the holidays! … She continues to inhale life at the speed of light and the experiences we enjoy with our drama queen teen is the ride of a lifetime!
GENTLEMEN START YOUR ENGINES … They’re lined up at the starting gate! … Compliments on her beautiful (braces-less) smile, her decidedly hot (yet modest) attire or the scent of her luxurious (no longer pig tailed and braided) hair … It’s amazing what an inexpensive bottle of shampoo can do for the male psyche! … The guys are chomping at the bit … Only two more years until she can date … Don’t worry Cam, you’re dad has your sister under house arrest until she’s 35! … Boys are stupid! Throw rocks at them! Be sure and aim! … That’s her dad’s motto!
PASS THE BUCK … As you are aware in 2002 Cam annihilated Blitzen, 2003 Jon pulverized Rudolph and 2004 we girls discoed with Bambi missing him by a sigh … of relief that is! … We WON!! … And he made it in time for his zippy little rendezvous with Felene and Thumper! …. Not even a dent! … Girls’ rule!! … Go girls … Go girls!
CHINESE CHECKERS … Neih hou? (how are you) … Cam did reside in the Tsim Sha Tsui area of KowloonTong, Hong Kong which boasts the exotic tourist area with beautiful hotels and incredible views of Victoria Harbor to the flip side entailing hole in the wall shops where the smell of raw fish reeks and pig’s feet, intestines & spine are purchased daily for consumption! ... Six million people chattering Cantonese & Mandarin rushed here and there as Elder’s Christeson & Croizer attempted to share the gospel with whoever was willing and ready to learn! … Cam’s Cantonese continues to improve but his dislike of eating squid including the head and tentacles has not become a favorite of his! … YIKES! … Run for your life Cammy! … (Listening to him bare his testimony in Cantonese on a tape he sent us was very moving! It’s an odd sounding language considered to be one of the worlds most difficult to learn. Each word spoken may take on several different meanings based on various vocal tones) … He now resides on the small island of Lantau in Mui Wo which is more jungle like and rather than greet others with a hearty “hello” they say, “Have you had your rice yet?” and baptisms take place in the ocean in a small cove … His cousin Dave from Logan, Utah is now his zone leader which thrills him! … Cam has met intriguing people and had some incredible experiences including; baptisms, ward activities, HK temple sessions, teaching free English classes, teaching people how to pray for the first time in their lives to getting lost for a few hours but finally making it home! … I discovered that one of the busiest streets in HK is “Cameron Road” which boasts a terrific noodle shop which offers ho ho (very good) deep fried octopus fish ball noodles! YUM! … He is fearless in talking with and teaching people the gospel of Jesus Christ and has a deep love and concern for the Chinese people … President and Sister Ong (his mission president and wife) are remarkable people whom Cam holds in high regard … Missionaries are allowed one hour each week to email their families from local libraries (they may hand write letters to anyone without restriction) so we look forward to Cam’s descriptive letters which are always filled with the sights, sounds and the interesting lives of the Chinese people … Knowing that our tall, blond, blue eyed son is teaching people who practice Buddhism, Confucianism, etc., about Jesus Christ simply melts my heart! … Ngoh ngoi neih Cam! (I love you) … Check out his website to read portions of the letters he sends home which I post for all to enjoy … www.missionaryworld.com/christeson
THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY … Ash to earth … “Hey, I’m doing my research paper on ADD and I was looking through the list of topics and I was like; teenage suicide, maybe … abortion, nah … depression, sure why not … multiple personalities, heck yeah … schizophrenia, definitely, and then I saw ADD and I was like THAT’S MY TOPIC!” … I can ADD and subtract – no brainer! … Research paper here I come! … Note from mom: Hey earth to Ash, you’re in honors classes. And HOW did you arrive at this point?! haha … (And THIS ONE I couldn’t have come up with in a million years! It was taken verbatim from an actual phone conversation she was having with a friend! )
DARE TO DREAM … Reflecting on his freshman year at the University of Utah Cam sees his experience as being “running Ute positive!” … Biology, psychology, finance and college writing were some of his classes … He had some interesting professors and enlightening discussions … Home teaching with friend Matt as his companion, weekly ward prayer meetings (speakers & socializing), innovative Family Home Evening activities and singing in the choir of his student ward kept him in good cheer … Sorority formals, return high school proms and running about all over the Salt Lake and Utah Valley’s with his friends Tim, Kurt, Matt, Colby and Ivan made for some memorable college moments … Playing his guitar, composing music and writing lyrics was the icing on his de-stress down time and having to survive living his first semester with an obnoxious roommate who tried his patience but tempered his resolve preparing him for his future mission wherein living with a myriad of rotating missionary companions will either be a treat or a challenge, haha, rounds out his year … Living 2,000 miles away from home for the first time, from all that was near and dear, while learning to make significant decisions, effectively manage his time -or not, commit to the completion of important goals and endure moments of loneliness helped to further shape the man in progress … Soooo, we’ve reared you in a home filled with love, affection, challenge and accountability Cam … We cut the cord and you not only flew but you SOARED! … You’ve achieved two of your life long dreams; beginning college and serving a mission … Now as you read this recap of our combined, albeit zany, Christeson year while residing at the far ends of the earth in China we applaud you as you continue to choose to thrive! … All possibility awaits you … How profoundly blessed we are to be your family and to continue to share in your magnificent opportunities and adventures! … You wrote us, “Yeh Sou Gei Duk ngoi ngohdeih ge gaatihng tuhngmaih Sung Jeunglouh dou ngoi ngohdeih” … Indeed! And we love you too! …Continue to make a positive impact wherever your travels may lead you Sung Jeung louh … God be with you till we meet again … See you in July 2006! … You’ll recognize us - we three will be the ones standing on the corner of 2 Cornwall Street in Kowloon Tong, Kowloon, Hong Kong waiting for you and wearing GRINS that reach from “there” to America! XOXO, Mom
IN A BLINK OF AN EYE … 2003 actually concluded with Cam flying home from college for 2 weeks during the holidays sporting long hair and looking a tad bedraggled! … Parties, outings, dates, fun and dragging a gigantic duffle bag home FILLED with dirty laundry to boot! … Pull-ease! … 2004 found Valentines arriving, postmarked from throughout the country; Romance, AR, Loving, NM, Valentine, TX … Cam was invited, with friend Tim, to usher at General Conference (behind the scenes is fascinating!) … Jon’s repeat cross country road trip back and forth to Utah and spring break activities in Wash DC were a lot of fun, especially escorting Cam to the Washington temple for his endowments was a very sacred experience! … Staying with our friends the Fultz’s enjoying combined family activities and also a day at Hershey for the teens was terrific and finally hosting our son’s missionary farewell luncheon was a delight … My mom’s trip out here for a visit, Ashley’s long awaited 14th birthday party at Kennywood amusement park, in addition to providing my employee development training workshops with a twist for a variety of diverse industries and Jon’s white knuckle driving attempting to outrun the floods while in Virginia caused by hurricane Ivan round out some of this years here there and everywhere highlights … Also attending plays, the Trans’ Siberian Orchestra performance and sharing hot buttered popcorn while making out at the movies on other date nights also reflect our over the hill with an attitude activities! … Now we settle in as we once again celebrate the holidays and pause to reflect on our many blessings … Our life is always filled with a little intrigue and adventure the likes of which our grandmothers would never have believed. But I happen to see this as a great and wonderful blessing! … To be living in a time of limitless choice and outstanding opportunities is exciting and humbling … And speaking of grandmothers, Ashley is working on a captivating YW artifact and written history project she’s devised focusing on five maternal generations of incredible women who have influenced her life in distinct ways! … GO Ash!! … Her tribute will serve as a legacy to all generations of women … “All that I am or ever hope to be I owe to my angel mother.” Abraham Lincoln
AMERICAN GRAFFITI … PS … Reflecting on the past five decades Jon and I have seen everything from pixie sticks, black cows, fizzies to Mentos … Chatty Cathy, Barbie, Cabbage Patch and Hula dolls … Howdy Dudy, Leave It To Beaver, Brady Bunch, Seinfeld and reality TV … Spin the bottle, Twister, Clue and Paint ball … Meat loaf, Spam sands, TV dinners and Big Macs … Chevy’s with fins, Mustangs with a stick and fully loaded mini vans … Rompers, mini skirts, granny dresses and power suits … Pageboys, pig tails, the flip and the shag … Barnaby Bumbleberry, Dick and Jane, Nancy Drew, and Tom Clancy ... Blow dryers, calculators, microwaves, cell phones, and the internet … Love beads, pet rocks, mood rings and POW bracelets … Primary songs, soul, rap, alternative and disco … Schwins, skate boards, roller skates and Harley’s …Bambie, Beach Blanket Bingo, Rocky and The Lord of the Rings … Dolls, babes, chicks, Mrs., and Ms. … Sledding, hot-dogging, snow boarding and extreme skiing …Ten p.m. curfews, front porch lights flicking on and off repeatedly, caller ID and, the Miranda Rights … Cool, groovy, hey, yo, and givemesumskin … Glass ceilings, stone pillows, black ice and golden sunsets … Dot to dot, play doh, glitter glue and clip art … Milk men, ice cream trucks, pizza delivery and take out … Slinkies, action figures, Lego blocks and Baby Einstein … Double dates, blind dates, no dates and goin’ steady … Tupperware, Band-Aids, Kleenex and, Swifer … Line dancing, the hokey pokey, the bump and pirouettes … Bryl Cream, Aqua Net, Sun In and Grecian Formula … Golly, 50 years and counting! … Through thick and thin … Together forever … When God made you He was just showing off babe! … So are you ready for another twirl on the ol’ merry-go-round of life?! … It’s true you know … “LIFE is an EXTRAORDINARY adventure”!
“Passionately INHALE life and EXHALE gratefulness!” ©
We wish you a “ho ho” (very good) holiday season - “Ngoh ngoi leih” the Christeson’s love you!
May the light of Christ enrich your life and bless you throughout the New Year
And hey, we won’t wait up … but we’ll sure keep our hot pink neon flamingo light on for ya!
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